Sweet Pickle Relish

We had plenty to choose from..this is the tip of the zucchini iceberg, from our garden!  Of course we had to buy the onions and bell peppers, but we have a great farmers market nearby...

Kate advised me that I have not, in fact, posted my recipe for sweet relish. So that's something we shall have to remedy then, isn't it? (Yes, Braveheart is a favorite of both of ours. Why do you ask?)

Anyway, I originally came up with this as a means to deal with a HUGE zucchini, but it will work with just about any kind of squash and also with cucumbers. Since this uses sugar it is NOT strictly Paleo/Primal, but bear in mind - it's a condiment, not a food.

In making this over the years, for some reason I tended to make (repeatedly) some pretty simple mistakes. To publish it here, I've had to clean up the subtle little reminders I use to help prevent these mistakes.

Zucchini or Cucumber Sweet Relish

WE’RE GOING TO REMEMBER TO MAKE THE F*****G SYRUP BEFORE ADDING THE F*****G VEGETABLES THIS TIME, OKAY?!!

Step One

12 C chopped zucchini or cucumbers, unpeeled
5 medium onions, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 red bell pepper, chopped
5 tablespoons salt

Combine the onions and peppers. Stir in zucchini or cucumbers and salt.

Cover and allow to sit for 3 hours. Drain and rinse well.

Step Two

NOW you can make the f*****g syrup BUT DON’T ADD THE F*****G VEGETABLES UNTIL THEY’VE BEEN DRAINED FOR THREE HOURS!

2 1/2 cups cider vinegar
3 cups organic cane sugar
2 T corn or tapioca starch
2 T celery seeds
1 t mustard seed
1 t turmeric

Combine to make a syrup, boiling until sugar dissolves and mixture has thickened.

DON’T FORGET TO RINSE THE F*****G VEGETABLES BEFORE YOU ADD THEM TO THE SYRUP!!

Add vegetables to syrup and cook for 20 minutes.

Ladle into hot canning jars, adjust seals. Process in a boiling water bath for 10 minutes.